masklophobia

"I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror." - Richard Lewis
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it was quite a hectic week for me. office work and school papers pretty much occupied my schedule this week. good thing school’s over last saturday, a huge burden has been lifted off my mind. at least, for the next few months i’ll concentrate on just working.

i had the usual sunday activity with the family. church in the morning then lunch at the mall. after lunch, we did some mall strolling. while going down the escalator, i noticed that jollibee and his fellow mascots were at the mall’s atrium with people taking pictures with them.

you see, i have never been a fan of mascots. in fact, i’m quite scared of those giant things. i always try to get away as much as possible from them. the thought of them approaching me while people are staring is just too much for me. the sheer embarrassment. plus, i’ve always been afraid that they might lose their balance or trip and fall over me. yeah, they might look cute and all, but you never know who’s lurking inside those costumes. a stalker maybe. a deranged person. or worst, a psychotic ex-convict. thinking about it is just paranoia to the maximum level for me.

and don’t get me started with those live santa claus and santa girls that pop out during christmas. their dance moves just give me the creeps. and why do they have to stand at mall entrances?! i literally have to hold my breath whenever i pass by them. good thing they only come out during December.

i’m just blabbering here. i just don’t have anything decent to write. i think i squeezed out the last remaining brain juice that i have yesterday when i had to finish two assignments and a term paper for school. i think that’s what you get from procrastinating too much.

take me

“Actually, there's nothing like being a mermaid. You get to swim in the open sea all day, explore endless wonders, it's... it's pure freedom.” – Mylie (Charmed, A Witch’s Tail)
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when darc said that his new profile picture was taken at one of the resorts in samal island, i suddenly missed going to the beach.

it has been a long while since i had a chance to go to the beach.

i have always felt like i am at my happiest when i am at the beach. just being in the water, gives me a certain pleasure and enjoyment.

the feel of the sand on my feet. the warmth of the sun. the summer breeze. the feel of the warm waters on my skin. such sheer bliss.

it does not matter if i turn red and burn my skin after a whole day of swimming. i don’t care. i just love being in the water.

and i don’t content myself in just staying in the shorelines. i go far and explore the depths of the ocean. the beauty of what lies beneath the water is truly wonderful.

writing this posting takes me back to two of the most wonderful beaches i’ve been to. kanibad in samal island and that little island across mati, davao oriental. i’d love to go back there again sometime.

or maybe, explore new ones. little boracay in sta. maria, davao del sur sounds intruiging. or the white sand beaches in saranggani province seems inviting. just a couple hours ride away from the city. or, camiguin. always wanted to go there!

so, i’m taking cue from what darc said. beach tayo! =)

sucky week

"I would sum up my fear about the future in one word: boring. And that's my one fear: that everything has happened; nothing exciting or new or interesting is ever going to happen again... the future is just going to be a vast, conforming suburb of the soul." - J. G. Ballard
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this week just really sucks.

i thought i will be having a great week but i don’t think it will be. i started the week feeling something exciting will happen but i think nothing will ever happen.

i have not had a good night’s sleep since last week. and i think my body clock is just going haywire. i still sleep at my usual sleeptime but i could no longer wake up at the right time.

last tuesday, i had the flu but still decided to report to the office. everything was a blur that day. i clocked out of the office earlier than usual. it pays to be the boss sometimes. little privileges such as leaving the office early is really handy in times like this.

i went home early and practically slept the entire late afternoon and evening. i had what seemed like the longest yet the most uncomfortable and most unsatisfying sleep i have ever had. and to add to that, i did not feel any better the next day and still had the flu. but then again, i had to report to work because the bigger boss will be in the office in the afternoon. i just had to be there.

today, i endured a morning meeting, got irritated with a bunch of people who cannot follow even the simplest of instructions, faked genuine smiles and shaked a couple of probably dirty hands.

also, i had a very unsatisfying lunch. pancit palabok and fresh lumpia. unsatisfied, i ate pringles. still not satisfied, i had the staff order pizza for everyone and ate ice cream. but then, i realized what i really wanted to eat was a juicy steak. but instead of going to the resto and satiate my craving, i went home and had tokwa’t baboy for dinner instead.

and, my brain has not been functioning well the past few days. i cannot seem to put together a very good write-up for the bigger boss. and i am not the one who would just simply submit a mediocre work just so as to comply with what is required of me. i’m thinking of scrapping the second draft altogether and just write a new one.

i also realized that school will end next week. i still have to submit three school papers. this is what’s wrong with distance learning and learner based schooling, procrastination just eats you up. everything is inside my head though, it’s just a matter of typing them down. i am so tempted to pay someone to do at least one of my school papers. i have done it once, so why not now? but then, that would amount to cheating. and i’m no cheater =D.

i’m just ranting and rambling here. anyway, i still have three more days before this week ends.

i’ll just have to get things that need to be done. this would mean more time at the coffeeshop facing the laptop. we may never know, maybe something exciting will come up from there.

crazed fanboi

“I give thanks everyday that I've been able to take my craziness and make it work for me.” - Fritz Scholder
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okay, i am just going to be crazed fan here.

i’ve been listening to this guy on youtube for several months now ever since i chanced upon his account last year. i always look forward to his amazing acoustic renditions. a must-hear is his cover of chris brown's forever.

i have developed a sort of admiration for this guy. well, more like, i’m totally in love with him. :”> nothing gets to me more than a guy who sings very well. it helps that this guy is pleasing to the visual senses =) and the dimples, the smile, the eyes, to die for...

if only... if only i would have a chance to say to him: “gabe bondoc, ello!” =)



you don’t know, but
you think you're maybe fallin' for me
dropping so quickly
you’re thinking of just
keeping this to yourself
waiting 'til you
know me better
you are trying
not to tell me
but i know you want to
don’t be scared of what i'll say
so don’t hide it what you’re feeling
you’ll just get tired of
holding it inside your head

you’ve been spending all your time
just thinking about me
you don’t know what to do
i think you’re fallin' for me
you've been waiting all your life
and now you found me
you don’t know what to do
i think you’re fallin' for me


lee, snap out of it. enough! lol

hush

"Of course I have secrets.

Of course I do. Everyone has a few secrets. It’s completely normal.

I’m not talking about big, earth-shattering secrets. Not the-president-is planning-to-bomb-Japan-and-only-Will-Smith- can-save-the-world type secrets. Just normal, everyday little secrets."

- Sophie Kinsella
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can you keep a secret?

i have always considered myself as a good secret-keeper. especially when being directly told not to spill any of the information that is being shared. maybe that’s the reason why a lot of my friends trust me with their secrets. because i keep them locked in my tiny little box of secrets.

a revelation. a disease. a heartache. a confirmed chismiss. a dissapointment. an embarrassing truth.

just today, a few secrets were once again shared to me. i was a willing ear to my friends’ sentiments and musings.

but sometimes, knowing one’s secret is a heavy burden. though i might not show it, i empathize and carry around the serious worries that they have shared.

On the other hand, the “lighter and more shallow” secrets shared are the very ones that are hard to keep. there have been a couple times that i have been itching and tempted to share some of these to other people, but i thought to just keep them to myself for now and save them for some good blackmailing later (just in case) =D sometimes the anxiety of wanting to share these secrets to other people just kills me.

i also have this knack of knowing and discovering people’s secrets. maybe it’s the stalker in me. or maybe i just have this way of reading people through.

i have discovered a few good juicy secrets, which i’m happy i was able still to keep.

but, of course, i am not perfect and sometimes give in to temptation. there are a couple spilled secrets that i regret sharing to other people. in a way, i have failed and lost the trust and respect of the person who shared their secrets to me.

this part of the blogosphere is like a heaven of secrets. and it’s a wonderful “sight to see” people freely share their most intimate, darkest, even their most shallow and simplest secrets. i love knowing other people’s secrets.

i have a few good secrets myself. and they are plenty. some really shallow, while some are deep and can be downright dirty. but i am not yet ready to share most of them.

not just now.

i reached out

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” – G.K. Chesterton
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i reached out to you.

it was up to you to grab the hand i extended.

but you did not.

i guess that’s enough closure... for now.

i wish you well and i wish you the best. i hope you are happy, my friend.

thank you.

it begins today!

"We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open." – Jawaharlal Nehru
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everything has been planned out.

all is set.

itinerary and meet-ups with the relatives has been carefully mapped out.

looking forward to seeing them for the first time.

anticipating challenges ahead in exploring the different parts of the metro.

thrilled for the possibilities that may come.

all in all. excited!

let the adventure begin!


but, i will surely miss this space for the next few days.