Thursday, December 31, 2009 6 comments

happy ending

"Forgiveness and letting go are steps on our road back to happiness" - Tina Dayton

this year, i got my heart broken - TWICE.

the first one i totally got over.

i trusted, fell for and got fooled by the person so easily. i pushed myself in and came into the situation with blind eyes knowing it was just for fun and there were lies from the very beginning.

stupid? yes. i got hurt with my heart broken into pieces.

nonetheless, i never regretted why i got myself into the whole situation. at least, i learned not to be too trusting, especially with a person whom you have just gotten know. and when you psyche yourself up that everything is for fun, leave it at that. never take it to the next level.

i forgave the person and i let go.

but the second and very recent one was hard for me – extremely hard.

i kept my guard up. as i've learned from the first one not to be too trusting anymore. i did not push myself in to the person. i waited. the moments spent together felt honest and sincere. i fell. the person fell. something both of us never expected. then, certain words were said.

i gave my word to hold on to the person when the person comes back the next year. we both agreed to continue what we have started despite the temporary distance.

and just when i thought we were moving forward with the relationship, everything just came to a halt. i felt like being taken away to the heavens and was left mid-air not knowing whether i would come crashing down back to the ground or be taken to greater heights.

i was left bothered and confused. i did not know what went wrong.

just a few days back, i decided to let go of my promise to hold on. i can no longer wait and put my life on hold for someone who never showed that the person is worth waiting for.

i have slowly picked myself up. just a few more bits to make my again broken heart in tip-top condition.

i have forgiven the person and i am now moving on.

in just a few hours, a new year will greet us all.

i will start all over again.

i will be making new memories.

and this time, i will find my happy ending. =)

Wednesday, December 30, 2009 5 comments


"Before I speak, I have something important to say" - Groucho Marx

i am a bomb waiting to explode.

i am quiet. i keep my thoughts and feelings to myself.

but, i cannot take it anymore. somehow, i just need the feel to expose myself. just to let it all out.

it's here where i will reveal myself. i will ramble and i will rant. at times, i will be crazy and be silly. but there will be times when i will be serious and show how emo i can be.

starting from now, i will no longer be silent.

"hi! i am LEE!"

and this is where i will SPEAK.