hush

"Of course I have secrets.

Of course I do. Everyone has a few secrets. It’s completely normal.

I’m not talking about big, earth-shattering secrets. Not the-president-is planning-to-bomb-Japan-and-only-Will-Smith- can-save-the-world type secrets. Just normal, everyday little secrets."

- Sophie Kinsella
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can you keep a secret?

i have always considered myself as a good secret-keeper. especially when being directly told not to spill any of the information that is being shared. maybe that’s the reason why a lot of my friends trust me with their secrets. because i keep them locked in my tiny little box of secrets.

a revelation. a disease. a heartache. a confirmed chismiss. a dissapointment. an embarrassing truth.

just today, a few secrets were once again shared to me. i was a willing ear to my friends’ sentiments and musings.

but sometimes, knowing one’s secret is a heavy burden. though i might not show it, i empathize and carry around the serious worries that they have shared.

On the other hand, the “lighter and more shallow” secrets shared are the very ones that are hard to keep. there have been a couple times that i have been itching and tempted to share some of these to other people, but i thought to just keep them to myself for now and save them for some good blackmailing later (just in case) =D sometimes the anxiety of wanting to share these secrets to other people just kills me.

i also have this knack of knowing and discovering people’s secrets. maybe it’s the stalker in me. or maybe i just have this way of reading people through.

i have discovered a few good juicy secrets, which i’m happy i was able still to keep.

but, of course, i am not perfect and sometimes give in to temptation. there are a couple spilled secrets that i regret sharing to other people. in a way, i have failed and lost the trust and respect of the person who shared their secrets to me.

this part of the blogosphere is like a heaven of secrets. and it’s a wonderful “sight to see” people freely share their most intimate, darkest, even their most shallow and simplest secrets. i love knowing other people’s secrets.

i have a few good secrets myself. and they are plenty. some really shallow, while some are deep and can be downright dirty. but i am not yet ready to share most of them.

not just now.