Tuesday, August 24, 2010

point blank

“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it." - Kathleen Casey Theisen

lately, i have caught myself fondly saying “che” among close friends. all thanks to kuya darc. :p

a very close friend of mine noticed this and asked me not do it because she is not used to hearing me say something “gay”. all in a nice way, of course. it’s what keeps me different, she said.

suddenly, i remembered an im conversation we had a couple months back.

i remember asking her how she would feel if i’ll introduce my would-be-boyfriend (and at that time imaginary) to her. i’ve noticed that she somehow feels uneasy whenever i start up a conversation that pertains to me being gay.

all she said was she would be really happy for me but it would not be something she would be totally comfortable with. because “... it’s not within my values and morals...”.

that made me really sad. i never expected to hear that from her. but in all fairness to her, i admire her honesty. it made me appreciate her more as my friend.

i’m just hoping that someday when i ask her the same question again, it will be the answer that i would love to hear.


Ex Jason said...

so ano tingin niya sayo bilang isang taong "not within [her] values and morals?"

rudeboy said...

Ah, lee, what to say, what to say.

She's honest enough with her discomfort at your being gay, which is good for you both.

I'm tempted to question just how good a friend she is to you, but then again, I remember that we are all entitled to our particular biases.

She may be your friend, but I don't think that automatically requires her to accept you completely as you are, the same way you're not required to live within the boundaries of her values and morals.

Perhaps in time you both can bridge the gap. Perhaps - and even better - in time neither of you will need to.

Guyrony said...

Morals and values.

My, my, we have come a long way since homosexuals were perceived as different from society.

How blunt of your friend to tell you of your morals and values.

Anonymous said...

nasanay na kasi sya sayo lee. pero nasa sa iyo pa rin naman yan kung san ka magiging comfortable. maiintindihan din naman nya yan siguro at makakasanayan na din. LOL

the geek said...

that is why you are friends with her in the first place.

friendship does not necessarily mean similar values or morals. diversity makes it stronger. you learn from each other.

soltero said...

She was honest enough to admit she won't be comfortable (echoing rudie), I guess you should respect it. We can't force our own beliefs to others.

paci said...

ganuna talaga. di lahat magiging komportable. pero malay mo di ba. it takes time.. =)

Mac Callister said...

maybe di siya ang tamang sinasabihan mo ng mga bagay about ur sexuality.

keep the gay stuffs away from her nalang.share it nalang with some friends na mas open.and tama ka atleast she's honest.and I dont judge her.

Im surprised you two still friends!bilib ako sau!

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

Wow. That's a tough one. Good boy ka talaga. I would've EOF'd her on the spot! lol

Siguro kanya kanyang compromise lang. Di naman kailangan mag 100% agree ang mga magkaibigan diba? May moments din of compromise.

wanderingcommuter said...

ive been using the word recently din. thanks sa isang kaibigan... i guess, its not the meaning of the word bit more of how you say it. but regardless, your friends should know better. hehehehe

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