thinking thoughts

"Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" - Winnie the Pooh
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i know i shouldn’t.

but i am doing it again.

i am overthinking. way too much.

i try to make solutions on problems that have not even come up yet. i think so much of what will happen, how it will affect me and the people i am close to.

a friend told me to let loose and be spontaneous again. traits that i have missed for such a long time now. i think i need to be reintroduced to them once again.

this goes to show that i have indeed changed. gone are the days of being carefree. i now have build walls and guard myself so much that i tend to forget to enjoy the pleasure of being in the present. Being in the “NOW”.

though i can say that i am happy right now. very much happy actually. but i worry how long this happiness will last. i worry about the circumstances that will cut short this happiness that i am experiencing now. i worry about the decisions that i will have to make and point me on the direction in keeping this happy feeling going. i worry about hurting myself. hurting other people. and to think, i have always considered myself an optimistic person. and here i am, worrying about practically (and technically) nothing.

i think about the “what ifs?” and all the possible outcomes. i try to think of all the scenarios that may happen and how i can make things better. and to think, this is just all in my mind. i am deliberating... all by myself.

decisions. decisions. decisions.

here i go again, overthinking.