Sunday, March 28, 2010

thinking thoughts

"Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?" - Winnie the Pooh

i know i shouldn’t.

but i am doing it again.

i am overthinking. way too much.

i try to make solutions on problems that have not even come up yet. i think so much of what will happen, how it will affect me and the people i am close to.

a friend told me to let loose and be spontaneous again. traits that i have missed for such a long time now. i think i need to be reintroduced to them once again.

this goes to show that i have indeed changed. gone are the days of being carefree. i now have build walls and guard myself so much that i tend to forget to enjoy the pleasure of being in the present. Being in the “NOW”.

though i can say that i am happy right now. very much happy actually. but i worry how long this happiness will last. i worry about the circumstances that will cut short this happiness that i am experiencing now. i worry about the decisions that i will have to make and point me on the direction in keeping this happy feeling going. i worry about hurting myself. hurting other people. and to think, i have always considered myself an optimistic person. and here i am, worrying about practically (and technically) nothing.

i think about the “what ifs?” and all the possible outcomes. i try to think of all the scenarios that may happen and how i can make things better. and to think, this is just all in my mind. i am deliberating... all by myself.

decisions. decisions. decisions.

here i go again, overthinking.


red the mod said...

Often we fail to embrace the absolute optimism of life by overthinking. Analysis is inherent in being human, for we always seek to define order in the enmity of our existence. I too am guilty of such a crime.

But, the possibility of our fears actually finding fruition is very slim compared to the ability of our actions to affect change in our destinities. I wish I could easily say that overthinking can easily lead to paranoia and dementia, but that would be self-deprecating. I only hope you find the peace I also seek for my own mind.

Pax ego, Lee.

Darc Diarist said...

we're the same. i'm always two steps forward... even if i don't need to be.

big big hug!

iurico said...

happy yet worrying. ironic ain't it? *winks

Dhon said...

Every road that we take in life always has a Blind Curve.. So just enjoy the present, prepare for the future.. :)

the geek said...

must be the signs of ageing, a growing up of our mental state. ;)

and self deliberation is a good mental exercise.

lee said...

@red: truly, thank you :)

@darc: hugs back :) thanks

@iurico: ang weird lng dba? hehehe

@dhon: yep2. but it think focusing way too much on the future =D

@geek: signs of ageing???? noooooooooo!!!!!!! hahaha

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