breather

"I never got tired of Tom and Jerry, but I did have a dream of doing more with my life than making cartoons".- Joseph Barbera
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over the weekend, i realized i am at the wrong job.

ironically, i came upon this realization when a couple of work friends and i are enjoying ourselves in the beach.

for the past two years, i have been working for someone.

i have lost my identity. i am merely a shadow of the person i am working for. i feel like i no longer exist. everything i do will always be in consideration for my boss. my accomplishments and achievements is credited to her. my failures would mean a poor reflection on her. everything will be about her and will never be about me.

i’m not ungrateful of the opportunity to be working for my boss. in fact i am extremely honored to be working for someone who has a great vision and a pure heart. i have grown and matured so much since i have started working for her.

i have never really imagined doing what i am doing right now. up until now, i could not believe that i was chosen to do this job. there are other better and competent people out there who could do my job better than i do.

but, i must have done something right and must be doing good that i am entrusted with such great responsibility. and i have always felt that my boss has so much confidence in me.

everyday, i am bombarded with issues, concerns and problems of other people. i can no longer bear the pain, and sometimes frustration, at seeing people cry in front of you, not knowing whether they are genuine or not. i am tired of carrying other people’s burden.

i think i am close to mastering the art of judging other people’s character. it is a must in this field of work. manipulation and deceit are an everyday game that a lot of people i encounter with play.

work is easy actually, if you think of it. it is just a matter of doing it right. but in my line of work, it is never easy. there is so much to consider. there are people who will put you down. not just within the workplace. even the people who you arere trying to help and have helped. there are a lot of ungrateful people. the moment you do not heed their requests, they turn their backs on you. and, this i cannot take at an almost everyday basis. this makes work so much stressful even if it is easy.

it is easy to say to quit the job. but it is not. i have grown to love my boss because i truly believe in her and what she can do. this makes thinking of quitting so much harder.

i guess, i just need to hold on then. i might just be overwhelmed right now with everything that is happening.

i just have to remember the good things that we have done and the joy that we have brought to the lives of people that we have helped out.

and this will be enough to keep me going...

...for the moment.