Sunday, March 21, 2010

breather

"I never got tired of Tom and Jerry, but I did have a dream of doing more with my life than making cartoons".- Joseph Barbera
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over the weekend, i realized i am at the wrong job.

ironically, i came upon this realization when a couple of work friends and i are enjoying ourselves in the beach.

for the past two years, i have been working for someone.

i have lost my identity. i am merely a shadow of the person i am working for. i feel like i no longer exist. everything i do will always be in consideration for my boss. my accomplishments and achievements is credited to her. my failures would mean a poor reflection on her. everything will be about her and will never be about me.

i’m not ungrateful of the opportunity to be working for my boss. in fact i am extremely honored to be working for someone who has a great vision and a pure heart. i have grown and matured so much since i have started working for her.

i have never really imagined doing what i am doing right now. up until now, i could not believe that i was chosen to do this job. there are other better and competent people out there who could do my job better than i do.

but, i must have done something right and must be doing good that i am entrusted with such great responsibility. and i have always felt that my boss has so much confidence in me.

everyday, i am bombarded with issues, concerns and problems of other people. i can no longer bear the pain, and sometimes frustration, at seeing people cry in front of you, not knowing whether they are genuine or not. i am tired of carrying other people’s burden.

i think i am close to mastering the art of judging other people’s character. it is a must in this field of work. manipulation and deceit are an everyday game that a lot of people i encounter with play.

work is easy actually, if you think of it. it is just a matter of doing it right. but in my line of work, it is never easy. there is so much to consider. there are people who will put you down. not just within the workplace. even the people who you arere trying to help and have helped. there are a lot of ungrateful people. the moment you do not heed their requests, they turn their backs on you. and, this i cannot take at an almost everyday basis. this makes work so much stressful even if it is easy.

it is easy to say to quit the job. but it is not. i have grown to love my boss because i truly believe in her and what she can do. this makes thinking of quitting so much harder.

i guess, i just need to hold on then. i might just be overwhelmed right now with everything that is happening.

i just have to remember the good things that we have done and the joy that we have brought to the lives of people that we have helped out.

and this will be enough to keep me going...

...for the moment.

9 comments:

wanderingcommuter said...

awww... felt the same dilemna before. really tough, exhausting and tiring. most of the time, i could even caught myself paralyzed and hopeless with that fact. but i guess one way or another it will pay you off...

Jepoy Dacuycoy said...

*hugs*. kung ano ang sa tingin mong makakabuti at magpapasaya sayo, sige sundin mo ito :D

dabo said...

kainis ka.. hay

alam mo yun life is too short for the wrong job.

Darc Diarist said...

i told you i know the feeling. but knowing you, i think you'd still do great :)

thecuriouscat said...

hala maunsa man murag pareha ta nyahaha

kay kinahanglan man mag work og magsweldo mao antos ra usa

lee said...

@ewik: yah, you just have to think of the things that make what you are doing worthwhile :)

@jepoy: salamat

@dabo: hay. oo nga. pero i think nagdadrama lng ako hehehe im ok though

@darc: thanks :)

@xtian: nag bisaya jud?! hehehe lagi oi unsaon man nato nga kinahanglan man jud ug kwarta aron mabuhi hehehe

Dhon said...

We all go through that stage in our life.. :) just hang on.. :)

MakMak said...

You'll encounter these kind of problems, in some form or another, in whatever field or work that you are.

I think what will keep you from giving up is to have a vision for yourself. :) That and the determination to reach that end no matter what.

But first, know what you want (what you really, really want).

Sabi nga ni Dave, life is too short for the wrong job.

ʎonqʎʇıɔ said...

i wish u happiness. there were times in the past na i felt like giving up sa stress sa work and di na ako fulfilled. siguro what helped me was the thought an trabaho lang naman to. kung di uubra yun, banatan mo ng conficious. diba sabi nya, if u really like what you're doing, para ka nang di nagwowork.

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