baby-face

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.” – Mark Twain
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tama bang “pino-po” na kami?!

then, suddenly it hit us. oh my god! we’re old!

nooooooo!!!!!

one was called “mader” when she rode a jeepney once.

another was mistaken for a mother to her younger brother.

i’m sure straight crushie friend has been called “ang-kol” several times.

and one friend is now considered a cougar.

my barkada friends will be turning the big 3-0 this year.

but i refuse to acknowledge that fact.

pwede bah!!! kaka-29 ko lang nung december!!!

umbrella-ella-ella

"I love the rain. I want the feeling of it on my face."- Katherine Mansfield
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i love it when it rains.

the feeling of cold breeze.

the moist air.

the tingling raindrops.

it always brings a smile to my face.

it makes me feel nostalgic.

yet peaceful.

ironic, i know.

there’s just something about rain that makes me think about you.

maybe it’s because we both love the rain.

or maybe it’s because when it rains,

i always imagine you

warming me up

with your tight hugs

and gentle kisses.

but, summer’s here.

and i really miss the rain.

just the same way

as i really miss

you.




1728 - Sukob Na

bunny

"Is it not pleasant to learn with a constant perserverance and application?" - Confucius
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i am not chinese.

but i grew up as one.

a lot of people ask me if i am chinese. i always answer them “no, i only studied in a chinese school and i only look like one”. and i always get a somewhat surprised reaction.

for the 12 years of my school life before college, i was in a crowd full of chinese kids. i was one of the very few students who is not chinese. and being in that kind of environment i think made me the person that i am today. i can’t pin-point exactly, but there times when i say to myself that i am acting too chinese.

i remember every time our school celebrates its foundation day, i always pray that i’d be pick to participate in one of those chinese dances. i’ve always wanted to do that martial arts dance, the one with the giant fan. but i was never picked. i only got to do those chinese speech choirs. Most of which i don’t even care to understand.

up until now, there are still chinese songs that i have memorized, well mostly. I smile everytime i remember our chinese graduation song in high school.

peng you i sheng i chi chou. na she reh chr poo tsay you. lol

too bad, i took for granted all the chinese lessons that i had. i can understand the language but i could never really speak it fluently.

i visited my alma mater during the chinese new year’s eve to witness their celebration. and it brought back fond memories. memories of learning. memories of friendships. memories of growing up.

and i miss those times.

i am not chinese.

but i love that i grew up as one.

oh! and i can only multiply numbers in chinese! =D

part-time tenant

“A mighty pain to love it is, and 'tis a pain that pain to miss. But of all pains, the greatest pain it is to love, but love in vain." - Abraham Cowley
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it all started with the teasing.

which turned into sweet affection.

and then, he says he’s going crazy.

to the point that he is willing to

settle to share just a part of someone’s committed heart.

and he knows this,

that the love he is willing to give

will only be

unrequited.

droplets

"Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water." - Antoine Rivarol
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i cry because,

for the most part of the day,

i have to use my head,

be logical, and put up

a strong facade.


always.


and, it is only with you

that i’d get to feel,

be emotional,

and just pour

my heart’s

out.

threesome

“Three is a charm. Two is not the same. I don't see the harm. So are you game? – Britney Spears (3)”
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it has always been the three of us. well, not really always. most of time.

that was how we were in college – me, close friend and straight crushie friend. one was never without the other two. in the school library, the cafeteria, the gazebo and just about anywhere else. eventhough the three of us had different personalities, those times really bonded us together. after college, though we didn’t get to see each other regularly, we talk and laugh as if we still see each other everyday. that’s how we are until now.

last monday, we went out for a dinner and movie date. just the three of us.

but here’s the scenario:


straight crushie friend confessed to me that he has had a sort of affection for close friend since college, but, he was in a relationship at that time.

straight crushie friend is single now.

close friend and i has a huge crush on straight crushie friend since college until now.

close friend was single then but is in a relationship right now.

straight crushie friend and close friend mutually likes each other without the other knowing it.

in short, i am nowhere in this scenario. lol.


anyway, when i got home after the “date”, straight crushie friend said that he thought it was just him and close friend who was going out. i jokingly told him that had i known he thought of this, i wouldn’t have come and joined them. i have always felt that since college there was a sort of strong tension or chemistry between them two. and honestly, i felt a little bit of jealousy.

and then, he said something that touched me in a way.


“lee, sa atin, 3 is never a crowd... :)”

tsk tsk

“Each one of us requires the spur of insecurity to force us to do our best.” - Harold W. Dodds
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i woke up with insecurity lingering in my system.

it breeds inside of me.





you don't have to feel like a waste of space
you're original, cannot be replaced
if you only knew what the future holds
after a hurricane, comes a rainbow

- katy perry (firework)