grace

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, wish right, wish right now" - B.O.B. feat. Hayley Williams (Airplanes)
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tomorrow i will see my friend cry.

tomorrow i will see her heart break just a little bit.

because tomorrow a love will become distant.


my close friend’s boyfriend will be leaving for canada tomorrow to work for a year. the confirmation to work abroad was, in a way, very sudden. he was informed just two weeks ago and got word to leave for tomorrow just last saturday.

though this has been planned, we all never thought that it would be this soon. all the while, we thought that they would be able to tie the knot before close friend’s boyfriend leaves. but, with this, they would have to wait until he gets back home next year.

close friend told me that though she has prepared herself a long time for this to happen, you will never be prepared enough when the moment arrives. every morning she tells me how she would stop herself from crying, but tears would just fall from her eyes. just last night, she texted me that she couldn’t stop crying.

i can feel her loneliness, her sadness.

but i always tell her, they would be able to get through this. one year is just a short time. the physical presence may not be there temporarily but the love will still be there. and besides, they have been in the same situation way back in 2006 during their first five months of their relationship. and, i know her boyfriend is loyal and loves her dearly. so, definitely there won’t be a problem.

still though, i know that the longingness would be unbearable.


tomorrow i will join my friend.

tomorrow i will witness as she hugs her boyfriend goodbye at the airport.

tomorrow i will see my friend cry.

but, i will be there.

a friend to comfort her.



"now the time has come to leave you
one more time let me kiss you
close your eyes i'll be on my way"

- john denver (leaving on a jet plane)

sacchariferous

Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. "Pooh," he whispered.

"Yes, Piglet?"

"Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw, "I just wanted to be sure of you.”
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you are my daily dose of happiness.

your simple yet thoughtful morning greetings get my day going.

the breakfast, lunch, dinner and everything in between reminders, i always look forward to. because you know how much i love to eat.

and when my day gets rough, you’re always a willing ear to my rants.

the way you take care of me, indescribable and priceless. and, yes, you’re very good at it.

that’s why spoiling you is never a question.

and have i told you that hearing your voice always makes me smile?

that’s the reason why, at the end of everyday, i always look forward to talking to you on the phone.

we may be apart from each other, but, i have never felt distant from you.

you have made me feel that

you are just within reach

for a warm hug

a sweet kiss

and a whole lotta love

=)


you make me so excited
and i don't wanna fight it
i start to blush
you are my sugar rush
ain't nothing better baby
is it for real or maybe?
i start to blush
you are my sugar rush

- a*teens (sugar rush)

ache

"The one charm of the past is that it is the past." - Oscar Wilde (The Picture of Dorian Gray)
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sometimes knowing someone’s past is never a good thing.

you get to know them even more, yes.

but also you get to know the untold secrets.

find things you would have chosen not to discover.

and, it could be very hurtful at times.

i’m sorry.

i could not stop myself.

i peeked.

i just need time to take this all in.

little one

“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” – Rajneesh
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last september 23, my younger sister gave birth to a very healthy baby girl. at 6 lbs. 13 oz., little baby gc is just a bundle of joy. her chubby cheeks, smooth skin and almond eyes are so irresistible.

she would be the very first-born on both sides of the family. so, you can just imagine the excitement of everyone. the lolas. the lolo. the titos and the titas.

her coming in to the world brought sheer happiness to everyone in the family, especially to my sister and her husband.

and it was really fun to see this one-week old baby unassumingly pose when i excitedly took pictures of her. a little smirk. a very serious look. a little twinkle in her eyes. a cute pout. i then thought to myself, "now this a little model in the making." when she’s older, i’d better teach her how to smize infront of the camera ;)

while she was sleeping, my younger sister shared a casual conversation between my friend, my mom and older sister. i was so engrossed with the sight of my niece sleeping that i never really paid much attention to what they were talking about. but, she said something that really caught my attention.

“ganun pala noh kapag nanganganak ka. while in the process, naiisip ko si mama and thought na ‘naku! inaaway-away ko si mama. pero ganito pala ang hirap na dinanaan niya nung ipinanganako niya ako’. i realize now the ordeal that mama went through for me.”

she said this with a proud smile on her face.

and i’m sure mama had a bigger and prouder smile on her face when my younger sister said that.

then, mama shared the very exact quote i’ve posted above. :)

zip

“An inability to stay quiet is one of the conspicuous failings of mankind.” - Walter Bagehot
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maybe sometimes

i should learn

to switch off

the inquisitive in me

and just

shut

my

effin’

mouth

up.

hello birdie

“Virginity is a bubble in the froth of life - one prick and it's gone” - Anonymous
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i have this friend.

the barkada has been egging her to confess.

apparently, she’s still a virgin she says.

because that’s what she is telling us, so ok, i “believe” her.

just a week ago, she said that her boyfriend will now be leaving for canada to work.

and so, i kidded her.

“so, ibibigay mo na ba ang bandera mo sa kanya?”

of which she did not answer.

“o cge ganito na lang, nakita mo na ba dingdong nya?”

the answer that i got was that she got to see someone else’s accidentally. and besides, “it’s all the same”, she said.

of course, i reacted. “oh no dear! it comes in different shapes and sizes.”

and then, she just laughed and became silent.

to break the silence, i said, “gusto mo ako na lang tumingin for you?”


and have i mentioned that her boyfriend’s got big hands?

;)

the plan

“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.” – Donald Miller
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i had everything planned.

i was to treat them to dinner. good food, light conversations and enjoy each other’s company.

then after, go somewhere intimate and quiet where we could continue talking just about anything. and slowly segue the very purpose of my invite.

i’ve rehearsed what i was supposed to say. i had everything carefully scripted. prepared answers to questions that might come up. even had lies prepared just in case there are certain questions that i might not yet be ready to reveal.

i was about to strip myself down and be true to two of my close friends.

so, why all this preparation?

i guess the very simple answer is, i had to do it. i needed to do it. i feel like if i don’t tell anyone, i might just burst and go crazy. i felt like that the emotion was eating me up. for quite a long time, i kept how i really feel to myself. but there came a point where i had to have an outlet. to just be me. to be free.

the plan was not all that perfect. it went through a couple of postponements. but, it happened all at the right time.

and i am glad i did. i came out.

first, to myself. then, to two friends i’ve considered very close to. to my co-workers and colleagues. to other PLUs (most of whom i’ve been able to get to know here). and to a few more friends.

it was a whole new discovery. i’ve become closer to my friends. uotten to know wonderful people. uncovered a whole new me.

and right now, i am preparing myself once again.

for the most important plan.

for my family.

soon.